Hometown hookups over the holidays

Ah, the holidays. Falling snow, crackling fireplaces, and your divorced parents arguing over who will spend Christmas morning at their house with their new spouse and much-younger stepkids... Yikes, it's not like one of those syrupy "Christmas in a small town" movies, is it? More likely you're bracing yourself for stress, uncomfortable family dynamics, and that dodgy friend of your dad's who always leers at you. (Why does no one ever call him out? Why?)

It's perfectly fine to want to escape from the home sweet home you're trapped in for the holidays, and often this takes the form of meeting up with people from your past - catching up with high school friends, grabbing dinner with the people you used to work with at your first job, and visiting old haunts to revel at how much things have changed (or maybe how much things have stayed the same). Nostalgia might hit you hard at the holidays, which isn't surprising given the theme of all those aforementioned movies. The good ol' days, right?

And then comes the holiday hookup

When you're home for the holidays and you're bored, stressed, or just feeling like maybe the best years of your life were when you were in high school, it's natural to think that maybe you could do with a diversion. "Do" being the operative word. Too subtle? I'm talking about hooking up with someone while you're hanging in your hometown.

First, consider: The holidays are a time when alcohol flows somewhat freely, and shagging the drummer in your high school marching band while under influence is not only a point of inevitable regret (because he now works out and he's ripped and you don't want to miss that in a haze of intoxication), it's also unsafe and inappropriate. Enthusiastic, mutual consent and sobriety are critical.

Second, consider: The drummer in your high school marching band now works out and he's ripped! When did this happen? Should you tap that? (Insert drumming puns here.)

It's not always a bad idea

If you're both in town for the holidays and you're feeling the sparks, and you're otherwise unattached, a hookup could make an otherwise boring trip home a bit more interesting. It can be a distraction from the squabbling at the family dinner table, parents asking when you're going to do something with your life, and It's A Wonderful Life on repeat (when it is clearly NOT a wonderful life, thank you very much).

Let's face it, a holiday fling can bring you some joy and sparkle - and turn your humdrum hometown into hookup haven. Alliteration getting out of hand.

A one-off hookup, no strings attached, before you return to your real life, can give you a fond little memory to look back on.

Also, you're an adult, coming back home on your own terms, with some experience under your belt and a life beyond the place you grew up. Why not show off a little? Feel good about yourself, impress some people who remained behind, and get the courage to do the things (and people) you couldn't do back in the day?  

But then again, sometimes it is

Hometown hookups can go wrong, though. First, what if the ripped drummer from your high school marching band isn't entirely honest with you and is hooking up with three other people besides you? (Note to self: Always talk about STI testing status, use protection, and be safe.)

Second, it's your hometown, and we all know how the gossip mills work in these places. Everyone knows everyone else's business, and someone is bound to find out, no matter hot discreet you are. Do you want to be the literal talk of the town from now until next Christmas, and only find out about it when you're home again and people are staring at you in the supermarket? Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic... But when you went to primary school with the checkout chick, buying condoms and whipped cream on Christmas Eve is absolutely going to get around.

Third, what happens next year? Is this an annual hookup situation? Or is it gonna be awkward if it's a one-off and you - or your previous hookup - bring a date home and you run into one another? What if you end up sitting in the same bench at church at the obligatory Christmas service?

And last, what if someone catches feels and thinks this hookup should, you know, lead somewhere? Like, to a full-on, Christmas movie romance. Or what if you hook up with your years-in-the-past ex and it stirs up old feelings (and old dramas)?

Know what you're in for

You might consider all of these things and think, yeah, whatever, I'm going for it. The Christmas lights are twinkling and the snow is falling softly, making you feel a bit starry-eyed and romantic and longing for company. Choose your attitude, set your intentions, and go into the holiday hookup season with your eyes wide open. And if it doesn't happen this Christmas, well, there's always Easter!