How do you do your makeup for work? Are you very demure and mindful, like Jools Lebron counsels in her viral TikTok video? Or do you look like a clown while sporting a green cut crease? While it's tempting to take Jools' advice literally, there's a deeper, more important meaning behind what she's saying. It's not about the makeup (well, not totally). It's about how you show up in the different areas of your life - and this means your dating life, too.
How are you presenting yourself to potential matches - what kind of makeup are you putting on your profile and your personality when you're trying to attract someone? Are you being mindful and authentic, or are you going peacock with the green cut crease? Consider what you're trying to attract and what you're actually attracting. Is there a mismatch? Honesty and transparency are important, both with yourself and with potential matches.
Look, guys, for the one billionth time, stop leading with the d*ck pics. Even when hooking up is your mutual goal, that is not the first thing anyone wants to see. Show you're not just a disembodied peen on a screen. We'd love to see your smile first instead. Let us ask to see more.
One of Jools' iconic lines is "The way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job. A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma." Comedy gold, but absolutely accurate. Are you coming across in someone's DMs as a totally different person than you are when you actually meet them? Are you super smooth and suave and saying all the right things when you chat, but when you meet up, you forget your manners? Bring your best self to the interview and to the job. It'll stave off disappointment on both sides and will get you much further than faking it will.
For the love of all things holy, take your time getting to know the other person. It's fine if you're both looking for something quick and no-strings-attached, but don't be an absolute wild animal and let it all hang out from the start. You might think you're "just being myself!" but we guarantee you are actually just being an egomaniac with no regard for other people's thoughts or feelings. Proceed mindfully. Reveal tastefully.
Remember what you're here for - and act accordingly. Friends with benefits, a casual hangout, or something more long-term. Don't pretend you're into something you're not, and be prepared for the other person to also act accordingly. Bait-and-switch has no place in dating (and is likely to get you blacklisted), so follow up on what you are offering potential matches. Guys on dating apps sometimes complain they can't find anybody, but their profiles are a hot mess of self-centered f-boy drama that self-respecting women will run a mile from. There's your reality check, diva. What's the name you would like me to make it out to?
Jools' advice is right up there with the Golden Rule of "Treat people the way you want to be treated." Who are you? What are you showing the world about yourself? You don't need to do too much - just be who you are, authentically, and be proud of that.
And we love that Jools is able to finance her transition thanks to the funds she's making from her "demure, mindful" content - this is when social media can do good things to change lives for the better, and we're here for it. Demurely. Mindfully.
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