New relationship energy (NRE)

That rush you feel in the early days of dating someone new? The heart-racing texts, the can't-stop-thinking-about-them excitement, the magnetic pull that makes everything about them seem irresistible? That’s new relationship energy (NRE) - and it’s as thrilling as it is temporary.

NRE is that intoxicating cocktail of emotions and brain chemicals that make early-stage romance feel electric. But as fun as it is, it can also lead to impulsive decisions, unrealistic expectations, and, eventually, disappointment when the initial buzz starts to fade. So, how do you ride the high without crashing and burning out?

What is NRE?

NRE is the intense emotional and physical excitement of a fresh romantic connection. It’s fueled by dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin (the feel-good hormones), making you feel euphoric, obsessed, and totally in sync with your new partner. But while NRE feels amazing, it’s not necessarily an indicator of long-term compatibility. It can distort reality, making flaws seem invisible and leading people to prioritize the new relationship over everything else, sometimes at the expense of friendships, hobbies, and even self-care.

Is it possible to enjoy NRE... Without losing yourself?

NRE is one of the most exhilarating parts of dating. Enjoy the butterflies, the late-night talks, and the thrill of getting to know someone new. Just be mindful that emotions are running high, which can lead to impulsive choices. It’s easy to let a new romance consume all your time, but don't neglect your friends, career, or personal interests. A healthy relationship should enhance your life, not take over it. In the NRE stage, your brain is wired to focus on the positives and overlook red flags. Take time to reflect: Are you truly compatible, or just riding the chemical high?

NRE in a casual situationship

NRE isn’t just something that happens in serious relationships. It can hit just as hard in casual situationships, too. You might start off with no expectations, just keeping things light and fun, but suddenly, you’re thinking about them all the time, craving their attention, and feeling more attached than you intended. Here’s how to stay mindful of NRE when you’re in something casual:

* Check in with yourself. Are your feelings shifting because you genuinely want more, or is it just NRE making everything feel more intense?

* Communicate clearly. If NRE is making you catch feelings, talk about it. Are you on the same page about what this is?

* Keep perspective. NRE can trick you into thinking something is more than it actually is. If the agreement was casual, don’t assume it’s evolving just because the emotions are strong.

* Make intentional choices. Before making big decisions (like rearranging your schedule for them or turning down other dates), ask yourself: Is this what I actually want, or is it just NRE talking?

When NRE starts to fade

At some point, the novelty wears off. The intense passion might cool, the daily texts might slow down, and you might notice your partner’s quirks (like their questionable choice in socks). This shift can feel unsettling, but it’s actually a natural and necessary transition.

Rather than seeing it as the end of excitement, think of it as an opportunity to build something deeper. Real intimacy isn’t just about passion; it’s about trust, communication, and understanding. Just because the automatic thrill fades doesn’t mean you can’t actively keep the spark alive. Try new experiences, plan surprise dates, and find ways to keep discovering each other. The shift from NRE to a more secure, comfortable connection is a sign of a relationship maturing. That warmth and reliability? That’s where true love can grow (if you're into it).