Condoms? Didn't we cover this in high school, taught in that sweaty airless room next to the gym by a bored health teacher who dhefinitely would have rather been blowing their whistle on the football field? Look, we know you were trying not to make eye contact with your crush or doodling genitalia in the margins of your math textbook to give the ol' banana demo your full attention - and besides, it's probably been a while. So here's your refresher course. Let’s talk the do’s, the don’ts, and the OMG-why-did-nobody-tell-me-this-sooner moments of condom use, with a little help from our friends at Girls Get Off.
Ah, the humble condom, your trusty sidekick in the world of safe sex. Think of it as your personal force field, shielding you from unexpected plot twists like STIs and surprise babies. Made from materials like latex, polyurethane, or even lambskin (yep, that’s a thing), condoms create a barrier that prevents bodily fluids from mixing.
The first rubber condom was produced in 1855, but condoms have been around for a long time - possibly antiquity, definitely before before the 1500s. Early condoms were made from chemically treated linen, oiled silk paper, tortoise shell, animal horn, and animal tissue (intestine or bladder) were popular and sometimes covered only the, ahem, tip as opposed to the entire male member (do we sound like bodice-ripping romance writers yet?). Sometimes they were tied on wirh ribbons, a rather charming notion. (Also, side note thanks to Wikipedia, "In the writings of Muslims and Jews during the Middle Ages, there are some references to attempts at male-controlled contraception, including suggestions to cover the penis in tar or soak it in onion juice." Thank goodness we don't do that any more.)
Nowadays, condoms aren’t just about safety; they can actually enhance pleasure. With an endless variety of textures, sizes, and even flavors (hello, piña colada!), these little wonders can turn a standard night into a five-star experience. So when in doubt, wrap it up and make it fun!
Let’s get down to the stats. When used correctly (emphasis on correctly), condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. That means only 2 out of 100 condom-using P-in-V pairs will experience a surprise bundle of joy within a year. Not bad, right?
Now, when it comes to STIs, condoms are your MVP. While they don’t offer 100% protection (because, well, nothing in life does), they significantly lower the risk of infections like HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and even herpes. So whether you’re looking to dodge an awkward “I think we need to talk” text or just play it safe, condoms are your best bet.
Let’s bust a myth right now: One size does NOT fit all. Condoms come in different sizes, just like, you know, other things. A too-tight condom? Uncomfortable and at risk of breaking. A too-loose condom? Let’s just say you don’t want it slipping off at a critical moment.
So how do you find the Goldilocks fit? Grab a tape measure (yes, really) and measure the girth of your erect penis. Most standard condoms fit just fine, but if you’re on either end of the spectrum - whether you’re rocking a pocket rocket or wielding a magic staff - there’s a size out there for you. Trust us, the right fit makes all the difference.
If you've ever stood in the supermarket or pharmacy staring in confusion at the condom shelves, here's a little guide to your options.
Latex condoms: The OG, classic, affordable, and effective.
Polyurethane condoms: Great for latex allergies and thinner for extra sensation.
Lambskin condoms: Fancy and natural-feeling, but do not protect against STIs.
Ribbed and/or textured: Because sometimes, a little extra friction is a good thing.
Flavored condoms: Fun for oral sex (because safety can be delicious too).
So go ahead: Experiment, mix it up, and find what works best for you!
So no one's ever said, "Ooh, let's pause this steamy moment to fumble with plastic packaging!" But here's the thing: Condoms don't have to ruin the fun. With all the options there are - extra-thin, warming, cooling, coloured, flavored, textured, ribbed for everyone's pleasure - it's easier than ever to find a condom that complements your intimate experience. Make slipping one on a sexy part of the encounter. And bonus: They can even help you last longer by very slightly reducing sensitivity (trust us, you won't notice). So instead of seeing condoms as a buzzkill, think of them as a way to extend the party.
Deep breath - don't hit the panic button just yet. Here's what to do:
Stay calm. Freaking out won’t fix anything.
Assess the situation. Check to see what went wrong.
Stop what you’re doing. Yes, it’s a mood killer, but safety first!
Consider emergency contraception. If pregnancy is a concern, Plan B (aka the morning-after pill) is a solid backup.
Get tested. If you’re worried about STIs, a quick visit to the doctor never hurts.
And for next time? Use lube (it reduces friction and lowers breakage risk), check expiration dates, and make sure you’re putting it on correctly, because, yes, there is a right way to do it! Look at the instructions on the packaging or remember that google is your friend.
This should go without saying, but condoms are not, in fact, reusable. They are a one-and-done deal. Once it's used, it's DONE. And if it slips off during sex? Nope, don't put it back on and keep going. You'll need a new one. It's on until it's off and then it doesn't go back on again.
Not only is reusing a condom gross, but it’s also super unsafe. Condoms lose elasticity after use, making them more likely to break. Plus, they’ve already been exposed to bodily fluid, so reusing one is basically playing Russian roulette with your health. Just don’t do it, okay?
Remember, protection isn't just about feeling safe - it's about empowerment, confidence, and readiness to enjoy every moment. While condoms might seem like an old-fashioned method of protection, they're actually a classic that have stood the test of time, and improved massively since the days of French letters, Johnnies, rubbers, or whatever colloquialism people used to refer to condoms way back when. They're safe, effective, and relatively easy to use. So wrap it up!
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