Stop fetishizing bisexuality

Greedy, promiscuous, or just plain indecisive. These are just a few of the stigmas attached to bisexuality. What is it about bisexuals that has people so perturbed? It goes beyond simple sexual attraction and transforms a complex identity into a mere caricature or performance. It reduces bisexuals to the punch line, the object of desire and your dream unicorn who’ll just marry a man anyway but always talks about her girlfriend from college.

We know the joke, but behind these stereotypes are real people facing very real sexual identity crises. It’s obvious there’s a misunderstanding of bisexuality as an orientation, and rather treating it as a “phase” instead of what it is, a genuine stable identity.

Debunking the myths and stereotypes

"Bisexuals are always up for threesomes"

We all have a bisexual female friend who’s… I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful - a sexy bitch! She appears on the outside to be more promiscuous than others, and when she swings both ways, obviously, she’s down for a threesome, right? But jumping back to reality, sexual orientation does not determine behaviour or consent! They may be bi, but that doesn’t mean they want to have sex with you, or your partner hiding somewhere in the club.

"Bisexuality is just a phase"

Ah, the “phase.” This myth is rooted deeply in the reality that bisexuals eventually (if you’re into that) settle down with one gender and immediately become straight or gay. It’s easier for people to live within the binary. Being all one thing or all another. We all know it’s not just a phase, Mom. Bisexuals don’t owe you reassurance they are, in fact, bi. They are!

"Bisexual people are more sexually promiscuous"

This falls along the line of bisexuals being greedy or gluttonous for love and lust. Because it’s obvious that an attraction to multiple genders means attraction to everyone, right? Bisexual people like who they like, and just the same as everyone else, they have their own likes and dislikes when looking for a new partner. This stereotype ignores people's right to their own experiences and relationships.

"Bisexual women exist for male entertainment"

Now, we know people aren’t walking around actually saying this, but the sentiment rings true for most bisexual women. The far too often dance floor smooches with female friends in front of men all too eager, is a well-known experience. Bisexuality is most palatable when in service of straight men! Who knew?

The impact of fetishization

There are many psychological impacts of fetishization on bisexual people. There are increased rates of anxiety and depression, likely due to the alienation and imposter syndrome experienced in both heterosexual and queer comminities. There are also issues of feelings of invalidation and a struggle with self-acceptance. If everyone tells you that who you are doesn't exist, where does that leave you? There are also social consequences bisexual people are more likely to experience. They struggle to form genuine relationships without constantly affirming their sexuality. Bisexual women are also at a higher risk of domestic violence and sexual harassment, likely due to the stereotypes surrounding them.

Showing true allyship

So how can we be better allies? It starts with listening, and most importantly, listening without bias or judgment. Challenge harmful stereotypes when you can, and respect the boundaries and experiences of those around you. Take part in the community and show your support.

Want some practical allyship steps?

1. Don't assume that relationship status determines sexual orientation.

2. Use inclusive language.

3. Believe and validate individual experiences.

4. Challenge fetishizing comments and behaviors.

5. Support bisexual mental health resources and community spaces.

Fetishization of bisexuality is more than just a personal annoyance - it's a systemic issue that causes real harm to real people. By reducing complex human beings to sexual stereotypes, we strip away their humanity and contribute to the significant mental health challenges many bisexual individuals face. The path forward requires collective effort: correcting stereotypes when we hear them and, most importantly, listening to bisexual voices rather than projecting fantasies onto them.

Bisexuality is a valid, complex sexual orientation deserving of the same respect afforded to any other identity. True acceptance means seeing bisexual individuals as complete human beings with diverse experiences, relationships, and personal boundaries - not as performers in someone else's sexual narrative. By recognizing and challenging fetishization, we can create spaces where bisexual people can simply exist without being reduced to their sexuality or expected to conform to harmful stereotypes. The question isn't just how we view bisexuality but how we honor the humanity in all of us.